So I've been wrestling with this book, Crazy Love, by Fr
ancis Chan... it has been one of the most difficult books for me to read, because it has called into question my very own faith and love for Jesus...it lays out in very real terms the reality of what it means to be in a relationship with him and to love and follow him fully. One part of the book says:
"The critical question for our generation—and for every generation— is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ were not there?"
Wow.... this was hard to swallow, because frankly I knew the answer, and it wasn't good. This chapter made me rethink everything about my faith. If I can truly live a life that is all about Christ, it should probably start with a deep relationship -- one that couldn't live a day without him. And I think this relationship can only happen for me, if I give up the distractions that keep me from him, and follow and love the things after his own heart: people...not just my family and friends...the poor, the sick and (the hardest one for me) ... the people tha
t have hurt me.
My mind has been racing lately -- I feel like I have this blessed life, and I can do so much, but I don't even know the best place to start. Giving up my "distractions" and turning a 180 and following him isn't an overnight thing...at least not for me. I can't do it cold turkey.
I keep thinking, that if I was on my death bed tomorrow, could I really look at my life and feel like I gave the very best of me to the people that need it most, and could I die satisfied that I did everything I could to show people the love of Jesus...i can definitely answer no to that right now. And that has to change.
I don't want to waste any time -- because time is precious.
It's not enough -- but we've started sponsoring a child from El Salvador -- he is a precious 8 year old, who comes from a poor farming family. He isn't able to go to sch
ool, so we're hoping that through World Vision we can get him there, and provide him some good meals. Its only one person, and it feels so not enough -- I'm so not enough -- but its something. And I know its just the start of something bigger.
I don't want this life to pass me, without giving the best of me...so I'm ready, let's do this!
